My friend died suddenly during the night last Friday. I wonder, with unanswered questions (at least at this point) what 'demons' haunted him on Halloween - internal and exteral? I knew things about him that no one else had ever heard or known. Some of it was reality, and some, I'll never know. I miss his laughter and his insights, but especially, I miss his encouragement. I learned from him, not jsut facts, but what it truly means to care for others. He was a gift to me. I have felt pretty selfish over the past week, about what "I" will miss about him. Sure, grief is about learning to live with the absence of someone you care about. But his death isn't really about me. Yes, I tried to listen to him, care for him, encourage him. Yet I always knew that he really felt alone.
In reading Matthew 10 today, esp. v. 34-42, I'm faced with what a 'cup of cold water' really means. Not just offering a drink, although that's needed at times. But it strikes me that Jesus is saying that our life is not aobut working to get a reward, to get some glory from our service, but to offer ourselves, whatever that may be at any given moment, to the least, the 'child', the most needy person around us. I can console myself that I was there for my friend, that I gave him multiple cups of cold water when he was dry and thirsty for God's Word, Jesus' love, but there's more I could have done for him, with him.
I'm griving today. I buried my friend yesterday. I'm sad that he's not with us, sad that I can't talk with him, sad that his family can't live with him and love him now.
I believe I'll see him again, one day soon. In time, I'll give water to someone else near me, someone in need, maybe today.
I needed Jesus' words and presence, and experienced His cup of cold water, through them. In this moment, I'm the needy one. Thanks Jesus, for helping me find life in You again.
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Many of us are just now finding out that he's gone. So many questions, so few answers...
ReplyDeleteI find comfort in John 16:33. Jesus acknowledges there will be tribulation. But in the end, none of it matters because He has overcome the world.
Know that you, as well as his family, are being lifted up in prayer.
Pastor John, Hello from Paul. I want to thank you again for all you've done over the past week for Our friend and his family, (and for me). We were very close and he also confided in me many things over the years. I believe we shared many things in common, which is why we became so close so fast so many years ago. One thing we had in common was the ability to get a good read on people we meet. It only took a few moments for me to see what he saw in you. I believe he knew as I do now that you have a special gift that not many people have. You have a clam, confidence mixed with approachability. (Not sure if it's a real word, but it's the right word). I think this is what drew him to you and now draws me. Please know that you are also in my prayers. I want to pass on one more thing that came to me as I was driving this past week. I think it's a message for all of us. While thinking about him I remembered a funny story and laughed out loud while alone in my car. The phrase, "it's OK to Laugh." came to me and I think it's important to remember. While I will continue tom morn his passing for some time I am going to make a point to remember what I loved about him, and I’m going to remember to laugh. Thanks for all you do. Your friend in Christ, Paul.
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